Ladies Night Optimized 2.0

Happy Thirsty Thursday everyone, may your cocktail stay full and may whoever be on your arm be obnoxiously attractive. Thursday also means that tonight is Ladies Night. There really is nothing better than Ladies Night. Girls drink for free and guys have more than a decent selection of girls to pick from. It truly is a win win situation for all parties involved. But Ladies Night is a treacherous playing field. There are strategies that will most effectively get you drunk and assure you and your crew the perfect night out. Just follow my lead and your glass shall never be empty!

Step One: Find optimum seating at the bar. Always pick a table near the bartender prep station. The reason for doing that is because the servers are constantly hovering over that area waiting for drink orders. By sitting closest to the prep station you are one step ahead of the game on your refills and promised fresh not watered down cocktails.

Step Two: Tip your server prior to being served. As a girl on Ladies Night all of your drinks will be free. Since your drinks wont cost anything this evening, the second you sit down hand your server $25. The moment that exchange is made your server is motivated to bring your drinks out faster and usually they will be poured heavier (who doesn’t like a heavy pour? I know I do) . Handing the money over at first also will make you look and feel like a baller…and I mean come on who doesn’t like feeling like a baller?

Step Three: Always order some munchies. Now no one likes a sloppy drunk girl, (and if you do like sloppy drunk girls you might have some mommy issues you need to work out) and that can be avoided. After your third cocktail you should always put an order in for an appetizer. That doesn’t mean you have to eat the whole thing, but keep a steady munch going to deter you from blowing chunks in the back of  your best friends car (trust me I know what I’m talking about I am always THAT FRIEND).

Step Four: Be friendly! There is nothing more annoying than being the closed off unapproachable group of chicks. Always pick a table that has a couple extra seats. This leaves an open invitation for people to stop by your table and chat. You never know who you’ll see or meet, so why the fuck not. And even if you don’t meet your prince charming, or your perfect one night romp, I can 100% promise you and your best friends will have plenty of stories to group text about in the morning.

Step Five: For every two girls you are with make sure you bring at least one guy. The reason for this ratio is as follows; when there is a large group of girls and no guys thats kind of a signal to every obnoxious single guy in the bar to come over with all of his single obnoxious friends and disturb your party aura. With a couple of your closest guy friends in tow it shows that you and your girlfriends aren’t desperate for attention. It is also handy to have some familiar men around just in case things get ugly (you never know when you might need some muscles to smooth over a situation). There is also nothing wrong with providing your own eye candy!


Step Six: Always have a DD. Step six goes without question. Always treat your DD better than anyone your with because they sacrificed their own Ladies Night so you can get shit faced. It’s proper party etiquette to pay for your DD’s late night munchies.

With these strategies I can guarantee you the perfect Ladies Night, trust me I’m a professional.

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