Writers Block, Boys, and Other Conundrums

Happy Monday readers! Hopefully, everyone had a great weekend and your Monday isn’t too rough! I have been absent for the past week, and the reason why is shocking. Ladies and gentlemen I have done something I have vowed never to let happen, I let my personal life interfere with my creative process. Now I am sure this seems a little vexing, but let me explain… When I write these posts it might seem like they are directly linked to my personal life; but partying, drinking, wearing fabulous outfits, and being at every social event is hardly what I would describe my personal life to be.

I am someone who truly enjoys the pleasures of their home. I can sit and watch endless hours of Netflix, walk around my house in a hoodie with no pants on, drink more bottles of Evian than the population of France, but moreover and more importantly I like boys just as much as any warm blooded 25 year old girl(unless you like chicks, and if you do, this post will assist you as well…different gender same bullshit). Recently a certain dude shimmed himself into my personal life, my inner circle(and no one just traipses into my inner circle) , and possibly stuck a wee teeny itty bitty piece of his baby toe into my heart. With all of that being said I felt like my writers judgement was totally clouded. I was so busy checking my Snapchat, responding to his texts, and just wondering what he was doing. I couldn’t string a cohesive sentence together, let alone sit at my computer and expect some glorious result from myself.

I am a girl who is not used to being smitten. I like to consider myself “jaded” and “experienced”, but sometimes you meet someone that kind of throws you off your normal. This is exactly what I experienced with this “man friend”. Obviously these are all feelings I have had before, but I was feeling all of this with no formal ownership over whatever our relationship represents. This is not something I was familiar with, so here comes the lesson kids.

I decided to take a week off and reevaluate what I write about…I write about problems; problems that I specifically experience. The whole point of this blog is finding solutions to all of these problems. After a week of contemplating this I decided it’s time to address not having a title with someone, but still feeling fiercely about them. This person I referred to earlier in this post will be called “The Infiltrator”.

The Infiltrator taught me an invaluable lesson. You don’t “need” a title; yes having a title gives you a concrete basis on what you and another person have. But sometimes it is nice to just be…not feeling like you have to report to anyone at anytime, remembering that you don’t HAVE TO hang out with them, not putting on aires in front of people to reaffirm in public the status of your relationship. These are all pressures I am too familiar with and The Infiltrator made these things a total non issue. I have learned you need to take things day by day, live in the moment instead of 20 moments ahead. Enjoy the time you’re with someone instead of stressing out on what it COULD be. Focus on every second that is present, do not dwell on past relationships and experiences. Hopefully I have helped you guys understand that you dont NEED to be in a relationship, you just NEED to be happy with your life. So people, if you are just talking to someone and you aren’t sure if it will get taken to the next level, don’t stress. Ride the ride, be the moment, let yourself laugh, get your butt touched, kiss without committing your heart, hug like it might be the last time you see them. Just be present and in the moment, you may never have a title but you will always have the moment. And to The Infiltrator who helped me see things in a different light, thanks <3 .

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