Ex-Patriots, Ex-Comrades, And Ex-Boyfriends

For this post Alexis Lee Problems is going right back to its roots…problems. I have recently come to a conclusion I never ever thought I would come to. I am someone that no matter what happens with an ex-boyfriend I always try and stay friendly with them. I am not a fan of holding grudges, I mean why let someone live rent free in your head? So, I make a very valiant effort to put bad blood to the side and make sure I can have a cordial relationship with my ex. But, after certain events that have transpired over the past week I have an entire new mindset.

The only way I can now look at a relationship that has ended, is with the comparison of warring countries. For a long time you pledge your allegiance to one person and create a bond together. You start to believe in each others ideals, life secrets are shared, and sooner than you know it your current partner becomes an extension of who you are. With that being said once this alliance has played out its natural course, what exactly are you left with? I was used to being left with a mutual respect for my former alliance and partnership, but not everyone is like me.

Lets get real this is what you are left with:

  1. By remaining close with an ex you are left with this lingering feeling of allegiance to them.
  2. In the back of your head all you can do is think of is how yours or their actions will effect each other.
  3. Excuses, you are left with hundreds of thousands of excuses you use over and over again. Your friends don’t understand the “situation” you have with your ex, so you become an idiot spewing excuses to them about how its “okay” and “fine”.
  4. You are left with little to no self respect. Your ex takes that away once they violate the privacy you have always found within them. All of the secrets, private moments, life changing times; good chance is your ex went around and told the wrong people all about you.
  5. 1-800 Hotline Bling. You wait every night for that phone call. Praying to god your ex misses you and wants to spend that late night time with you. You are left with wasting countless nights of cutting your evenings short just to have the chance to see them.

I don’t know about you guys, but these are not things I’m comfortable with being left with. With all of that being said it’s time to open our eyes up to the passive aggressive bullshit our ex’s put us through. I am no longer okay with being someones secret side dish. I also will never let someone own me or my sexuality; you know why because it’s mine. From here on out let’s treat these instances like war, because that’s exactly what it is. Maybe everyone looses at the end of a war but at least a good fight was put up and you can walk away knowing you fought for who you are.

My life is mine, my secrets are mine, my sexual cravings are mine, my business is mine; not yours. So to everyone that ever used my privacy as ammunition your loss; I am taking me back. No longer will I be afraid or threatened. I will do whatever I like when I like to. I will write whatever I want, and I will do all of this for me and no one else. Just remember when going into war, there are casualties, people will lie, others will get hurt in response to those lies; but the fight is worth it. Once you are set free from the shackles of someone else you can own who you are again.

For years I stared at myself in the mirror and wasn’t totally sure of who or what I was looking at, but those days are over. I am a strong independent person who owns their actions and reactions, and I will continue to be that girl. Ex’s tend to rob you of the things that are your essence. I mean why wouldn’t they take away the best parts of you? It is never to late to reclaim those things and be exactly who you always were. Sometimes it just takes some blood, guts, tears, war, and truth to find who you are again. Once you find that person again never let them go and never let them forget what they went through to reappear back in that mirror. You might think the choice in photograph for this post was interesting, but I wanted to make it clear this is the last time I’ll ever be looking back at you.

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